60

The moon is bright
birds, cats, bats, light
familiar with the night
a screen, a keyboard, my sight

With knowledge or with nothing at all
There is something waiting 
for me to let go
words flow

Black clothes
warm bed
the same position
a mind set

A river of ideas
water are my thoughts
the world is lonely
when nights are cold

All I am
goes into words
some days just one
sometimes three dots

Birds sing at 3 am
the screen is still on in front of me
they realize it's too early
I know they go back to sleep

So before the moon leaves too
sometimes it's not just me
we're two
the one that I have in mind or what I feel too

It doesn't have to make sense
It just has to feel right
music in the background, 
cold comes the night

Windows are open
courtains are not dark
I rather be following the moon
than staring to the wall

A world alone
A place to let go
A space of my own
A peace that's unknown

And some nights
I think it all could end
Rejecting me from the world outside
the terrible mistake of depend

Denying myself
the good human that I know I am
but like every other I think "It's never enough"
asking "Am I just as good as others? Am I good enough?"
shit is part of life
the sooner you accept it, the sooner you're fine

After all 
this is what is with me
what I see I write, what brings me down is what I'm stuck with
this is it, now you see what I see

30.11.15
4:04am


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SIXTY


Sixty was the age you never reached
Sixty like you I wouldn't like to reach
Sixty times more lonely I don't want to live
Sixty and lot more we could have lived
Sixty and a lot more times you've been in my dreams
Sixty which I may not remember but I've dreamed
Sixty, you never got there
Sixty we didn't celebrate and you don't know how it feels
Sixty times faster my heart beats while I write this
Sixty is the number of this post
Sixty times I've been sitting somewhere talking alone
Sixty years in this world maybe it was too much
Sixty and more tears I have cried 'cause I love you and miss you so much
Sixty was the age you never got to meet
Sixty minutes, twenty four hours, seven days a week, you live in me.

11.30.15
4:25am


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