THE LAST CHRISTMAS NIGHT FIVE YEARS AGO

Five years ago

at 12 pm

We were not even sure

Which option to take

Would we spend it together?

Would we go at a friend's place?

Probably I wasn't even awake

Sure there are things that I regret

I could have asked you 

What plan do you want to make?

Probably you were watching tv

Surely I was thinking about stupid things 

Today it's raining outside 

It's cute cause it's sunny at the same time

And I'm thinking about you

And all the things that you went through 

And how much I love your smile

Your last picture with the Christmas hat

I feel like I can't look at it today

Not today

I rather see the stories in my head

Trying to avoid thinking of all the things that I regret

Sure it was a especial day, I hope

The last Christmas night five years ago

At 8 pm we went to our friend's place

They were opening their gifts and we just stared

We looked at each other and remembered 

When we used to do that on December 

But we had each other and so much love around us

They were happy to invite us

Thank you for giving us your beautiful smile

It was so pure, it was divine

Sure I will keep it until my final time

Now I miss you in a different way, not like I just forget

Sure there are things that I regret

But I'm glad we spent that day together 

Emotions are like the weather 

But I'm fine and I can be better 

You gave me the wings, you keep fixing my feathers

Fly away way beyond the tallest tree on earth

For me you're not anymore on that wheelchair 

Something you never deserved

You always believed on christmas there was a new birth

That last Christmas day when you were fully awake

Left the sweetest memories in me, the cup of hope I take

Your smile hanging on the wall 

Your happy face with the Christmas hat

I love it, I love you but today your portrait I can't look at

I am sorry, forgive me, thank you, I love you so much

I have to move on without it meaning an empty goodbye

I'll be fine and I'll always carry with me our last Christmas night.

You're the star that keeps pushing me to move forward 

When I look up to the sky 

Up wherever I'm at

Merry Christmas my dear Maria, Joe, Zuka, Milky, Emily, mommy and dads, 

I love you, I love you all so much

Goodbye and thank you for all those beautiful Christmas nights. 

4:23pm

24.12.2020

Cali