I'm having a beer

 The world is shaking

and I'm having a beer

oh dear, let me be clear

I'm not proud that I'm having a beer

I wish I was near

I wish I could face the problems the way you do

for some reason, whatever reason

I can afford this moment and this is my mission

but I feel everything not as I would like to

Hunger is a real problem

I have felt it not the way they've felt it

and all I'm doing now is having a beer

oh dear, I'm sorry, but let me be clear

I wish I was near

Blood on the streets 

while I'm longing to feel the sheets

but not now, I'm having a beer right now

it comes after

like the guilt after

when I feel like shit somehow

I want the world to change

but I don't change the way I'd like the world to change

so I say I have everything I love around me

and I have to thank

and it's not fair

How can someone be so fucking into himself?

to say "I'm having a beer"

while people is being attacked with tanks

I don't deserve you world

I'm sure it was all a mistake

that I was born

I'm sorry for the words I've said

if it's all my fault then I take the blame

'cause people is fighting for our rights outside

and I'm sitting here doing nothing more than speak my mind

"I'm not fine

I don't know if I will ever be alright

but I have to try"

the lyrics of this song, hit me

in a selfish way 'cause there are a thousand more important things 

than speaking about what is wrong with me

yet it hurts me,

to see that I'm holding a beer

while the world is burning

and I'm not near

and I'm sorry, I want to be clear

Near to help,

near to her

near to the family care

near to the ones that are scared

Scared of death 

when they're fighting against it

scared of a future

that is not promising

Life can really feel like hell

you should really thank you're alive and well

but I can't stop thinking

Am I sinking?

'cause there are thousands of people fighting their fears

while I'm sitting here about to open another fucking beer.

12:40 a.m.

06.05.2021

Cali